The Importance of Mummy Friends
We all know that having friends is an important part of life. Friends are there to share the ups and downs of life with us. Good friends support us as much as we support them. Many of us, myself included, have people in our lives who have been friends since we were running around mother naked in the back garden.
But and it’s a big but, when you have children, some of these friends can disappear. I don’t blame them in some cases, listening to stories about poo, vomit and how much sleep I’m not getting are clearly not as interesting as when we all used to go out for dinner, then stay out all night drinking and talking about men. Unfortunately for them, for the last four years my life has revolved around bodily functions, sleep times and eating (and that’s just me)
My mummy friends are mostly people I have met through ante-natal class (where we bonded over how little we knew about giving birth) and Baby Sensory (where we bonded over our babies love of putting things in their mouths and shakers). I also have a couple of extremely dear mummy friends who I have known for a very long time; through teenage angst, relationships, weddings and then some.
These women are great because:
All of them have given birth in some way or another
They all know what it’s like to have been pregnant; the aches and pains, and the joys. However we all gave birth, we have all done it and there’s something very cathartic about sharing your birth story with someone who knows what you are talking about. (I often see complaints from people about the way some women talk about their birth experiences. I’m sorry but if it has been traumatic then PTSD means that you will think about it a lot and talking is part of the therapy. And if it was a great experience then why not share.)
They don’t mind talking about gross stuff
They’ve all had to deal with a poonami that meant there’s was nothing left to do but burn their child’s sleepsuit and vest and possibly the sofa!. They’ve all gone out wearing the top that had a teeny tiny bit of vomit on, only to realise that there was a lot more vomit on the back. They’ve had to wash the carpet, the stairs, the walls and themselves at 2am. And they are happy to share those stories.
They get that some days are just a bit crap
These ladies are only too well aware that life with a small child or children isn’t always a breeze. They understand that if you are down then you need a hug, space to talk and a lot of chocolate. They don’t tell you to cheer up, they’re just there.
They know that children aren’t perfect (whatever people suggest on Facebook)
They tell you about the time their child threw a tantrum in Tesco and tried to knock all produce off the shelf. Or they tell you about the incident involving a whole pot of Sudacrem (actually that was me telling someone else). Or that their little darling is currently like a demon and refusing to eat anything apart from cheese.
They help remind you that being a mum can be fun
We get together it usually involves a play date, lunch, cake and a bottle of wine. We can get together, watch our children play, join in with the playing, have a much and a drink, and just enjoy life for a bit without worrying. They also occasionally watch you climb a tree and then take photos.