Perfect versus Real

In those heady days pre children (that I can barely remember through my sleep deprived brain) I told myself that if I ever had small people they would be perfect.

  • They wouldn’t throw tantrums in Tesco, local play café, at the beach in front of hundreds of people, on their birthdays, ever.
  • We’d never go to McDonald’s because fast food is bad for you.
  • I’d never bribe my children with chocolate buttons.
  • I would only get them toys that were educational.
  • They’d only watch an hour of television a day.
  • I’d cook them amazing meals from scratch.
  • We’d all eat together every night.
  • I wouldn’t need a time-out step because my children would be amazingly well behaved.
  • My children would sleep.
  • My children would eat whatever was put in front of them.

This was five years ago and oh how I am laughing now (and crying on the inside). I’m sure any parent reading this is laughing as well. In the last couple of days I have done the following:

  • Gone to McDonald’s
  • Promised Bebe a bar of chocolate if she let me brush her hair without taking the brush and shouting at me every five seconds.
  • Bought some random Frozen soft toy because Lala just kept going “Elsa” “Elsa” in Asda
  • Realised that most of Sunday afternoon was spent either watching Despicable Me, Despicable Me 2 and Peppa Pig.
  • Used the time-out step every hour because of the sheer number of tantrums.
  • Put the kids to bed and then eaten a meal with himself because I wanted quiet/not even come home from work until after bedtime.
  • Got up twice in the night to sort out crying children (still no idea why they were crying)
  • Changed meal options to toast and jam because of the sheer level of protest following the announcement of food involving tomato sauce.

But they’re both still alive, they were smiling when I left for work this morning and it gives me a warm glow every time I think about them (at night when they’re asleep and I’m not trying to clear up all the toys and stop them from hitting each other).


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